Victor Crowley’s Most Sexually Repressed Kills

I’m preeeeetty sure this ghostly man never had sex. He died when he was young and was cursed to look like the Elephant Man, not exactly a good cocktail for a Don Juan. Not having any outlet to release that energy can be lethal. I’m fairly certain he gets his rocks off by killing, but killing in a way that is sexual….now that’s killing two birds with one hatchet.

Opening a Woman’s Mouth Unnaturally Wide

Victor’s favorite form of killing is arguably shoving things in and/or distorting people’s mouths. Here is the very premier time it is done in the first “Hatchet.” This fulfills a lot of freaks’ desires that jaws can unhinge like pythons. I mean, they do, but you’re going to pay the small price of a manslaughter conviction.

Creating New Holes in Women

As a bit of foreplay, Victor first puts a belt sander in Jenna’s mouth and then hoists her up and impales her on the blunt end of a shovel. He shoves the wood right through the new hole 🙄

Killing Mid-Doggy

In “Hatchet 2,” Victor finds a couple going at it and gets right in on the action. He cuts the man’s head off and causes a spastic nerve reaction, making him go much faster. He then ends the woman by jamming his hatchet into her back. Make sure you finish before you are finished.

Splitting 2 guys in 2 from the Bottom Up

Here the Bayou Butcher employs a chainsaw to shred into two guys at once.

Just his brand of ménage à trois.

Sensual Undressing

“Hatchet 3” barely has any sexually repressed killings…is this a more mature Victor we see before us? But just when we think the movie will end without innuendo, Victor rips a guys clothes off, along with his skin, in a manner that looks awfully intimate. Just look at those cries of ecstasy; I bet Victor made him one satisfied man.

Autoerotic Fistation

In a move that is described as fisting herself, Victor rips her arm out of the socket and shoves it up her snatch.

Felissa here proves that, unlike her “Sleepaway Camp” character, she’s now an innie. She’s still sporting that famous mouth agape though.

I might make this a series so I’m gonna slap a hashtag on it, why the hell not?!

#MostSexuallyRepressedKills